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The Banana Stand protocol.
‘For every two minutes of glamour, there are eight hours of hard work.’ Jessica Savitch
What she said. It’s true.
Welcome to the back office
If you’re new here, know this: scrolling through the feed is inefficient. You’ll find random articles about burnout mixed with technical guides on tax tactics. That’s a bad way to learn.
Your personal Banana Stand should follow a specific sequence if you intend it to be revenue-generating. You can’t optimise a business that doesn’t exist. You can’t scale a business that’s bleeding cash.
Follow this order
Phase 1: The Mindset (read these first)
Before you touch a spreadsheet, you need to kill your ego. These essays explain why your subscriber count is a trap and why we prioritize boring cash over exciting viral hits.
Your Subscriber Count Is A Vanity Metric
The premise: Why we treat subscribers as liabilities until they become customers.
Coming Wednesday, January 7, 0100 UTC.
Anatomy Of A $1,000 Mistake
The premise: I set money on fire so you don’t have to. A look at the Laundromat philosophy of newsletters.
Coming Wednesday, January 14, 0100 UTC.
Phase 2: The Infrastructure (Plumbing)
Once you accept that you’re a business, you need the tools to act like one. Don’t write another word until these systems are active.
The ‘Dead Inside’ Protocol
The system: How to ship content when you hate writing.
Coming Wednesday, January 21, 0100 UTC.
The 10-Point Cash Flow Audit (AU$12 or free for you)
What this is: A brutal assessment of your solvency.
Download it here. Free if you use the link, AU$12 if you don’t.
Phase 3: The Armory (Paid Tools)
I don’t sell subscriptions. I sell speed. You can build these tools yourself if you have 50 hours to spare. If you want to save the time, buy the tools.
The Cash Flow Forecast Sheet (AU$36):
What this is: The exact Google Sheet system to calculate your Month of Death, manage your runway, estimate your Tax Drag, and calculate your true Hourly Rate. Harsh, hard data you need to know.
The Sponsor Pitch Deck (AU$60):
What this is: The ugly, high-converting slide deck I use to close deals.
Download coming soon.
A note about contacting me
I don’t do ‘coffee chat.’ I don’t do ‘pick brain.’ If you have a specific question about a specific financial bleeding point, reply to any newsletter. Email me at admin@thebananastand.co. Leave a comment if you’re on the app. I read everything.
Now, over to you.
